I stared into the greenish, depthless lake. And suddenly, I was sucked into a horrible memory I yearned to forget. The memory shrouded me, like an icy veil, chilling me to my bones, suffocating me. The harder I struggled, the tighter it clung to me with its razor sharp talons.
It was twenty years ago; I was standing at the exact spot I am standing now, looking out into the same lake that stretched out wide before me. Two girls waved at me from the middle of the lake, their white, flailing arms protruding from the green, icy waters. They seemed to be shouting to me; but I couldn't make out what it is they're trying to tell me. I smiled and waved back at them instead.
After a while - I don't know how long - they stopped waving. Their hands lay on the surface of the water- dead, lifeless. And I finally realised what I should have realised sooner: they were not waving, they were drowning...
I screamed at the top of my lungs. Warm tears streamed down my face and dropped onto my duvet, leaving black, damp stains that looked like blood in the gloom. I was clutching the duvet to my chest tightly, sobbing like a little child.
It was the same dream again. The very dream that haunted me night after night but had never ceased terrifying me. The same emptiness, the same helplessness was simply too excruciating for me to bear...
I looked into the water, and he gazed back at me, his trusting brown eyes disappointed, disbelieving and betrayed but never angry. He was drowning, his flawlessly handsome face disappearing into the green darkness, and I was staring at him; helpless, pathetic...
And I could almost hear him whispering into my ear, if I drowned, you would pull me out, wouldn't you?
Like a green shawl,
She wraps me in a tight embrace,
With a thousand burning kisses,
She seals my death.
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