Secrets to the Grave

I'm scared of dying because I don't want the doctors to perform an autopsy on me. I don't want random strangers to cut me open where I've so skillfully hidden my secrets. I don't want people to see my charcoal heart, where lies and flaws left their indelible stains. I don't want them to see my shriveled lungs, where I've stopped breathing years ago. I don't want people to see the gruesome contents of my stomach, where all the words and thoughts and feelings I've swallowed rotted away over the years. I would rather have insects and maggots eat me away and have my secrets seep through the soil of the silent earth. I would rather not die at all.

(Not) The End

And it terrifies me that
it would come to a screeching
halt.

It's Part of Nature

Kiss my feet and they will blossom into an amaranthine meadow of flowers.
Kiss my arms and watch them twist into great, serpentine rivers that intertwine like double-helices.
Kiss my shoulders, they will stretch into two bridges that interconnect planets and systems.
Kiss my lips and taste the golden elixir of honey. You will be immortal.
Kiss my eyes and they will be the eternal stars to guide you through the endless nights.

To Armand,

My dark prince, my twisted twin, my tragic dreamer. You alone understand the blackness that comes in waves, you alone stepped into this whirlpool of demons and loved them all. You kissed them on their gnarled and distorted mouth, as if they were docile kittens, merely because you love me and they were part of me.

Love you, love you as I've never loved, love you beyond consciousness, beyond mortality, love you beyond comprehension. This savage and unequivocal love knows no bounds, wants you and your body and your blood. Wants your thrashing soul between my teeth.

I love you so much I rip myself apart mentally for you. It's a terrible love and we bring each other into such pure, psychedelic inebriation that transcends all meaning and coherence. We are two lost souls finding the light, and in doing so we surrender our everything. Fragments of us are disgorged into this great, empyrean void - so humbly and so modestly called love - that we leave almost nothing of our original selves behind.

Don't you see? There's no part of me that's untouched by your effulgence. My entire being is marked and scarred by you and still I want more. I'll forever be wanting more.

Always,
Sheryl.

May 7th

Because I let myself wade
into you too prematurely;
first the ankles, knees and thighs.
And suddenly I'm up to my shoulders
in you.

Everything was measured and everything was slow,
and because of that
I believed that I was safe
in the impenetrability of time.
I didn't know that I would
wake up one day
to find that I am
the color of your blood.