Hermit Thoughts

Sometimes, I just feel like hiding in the bushes for the rest of my life. I'll eat wild berries and drink morning dew to stay alive.

My Productive (ahem) Weekend

Really? You believe that?

Friday

Mum's friend just came back from Europe *jealous* and she bought us dark chocolates.Finally! I was beginning to really yearn for chocolate. Can't go without chocolate for a month now, can we?

Anyway, mum went out with her friend for dinner and it's just daddy, Khai and I. Daddy was exceptionally kind that day. He brought us to the Temple of Fine Arts for dinner. My brother and I are mad, absolutely bahoola for that place ever since we discovered it 2 years ago. 

It's a non-profit (in other words, FREE) restaurant but donations are welcomed. They provide really, really good Indian cuisine that is almost Palace d'India quality. And buffets are on Saturday and Wednesday nights, I think. 

Saturday

Loitered around for the entire afternoon. Watched Water For Elephants. Nope, still hate Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon. The movie was okay, but I'm kinda pissed it portrayed August as Uncle Al (whom I absolutely abhor) when he was just crazy. You can't blame people for being crazy, okay? And besides, I love August, he's cute.

Mum, who's been acting like a total teenager lately, went out to dinner with her friends again. Fourth time this week mum, you can lay off the partying, young lady! 

Went out with Dad's family. Had Choo Char in Batu Lanchang market. Got addicted to AngryBirds on my niece's iPad. I love the whee sound they make. So cute.

Sunday

Promised that I would belanja Daddy dinner at Mizi's. What was I thinking? I was like, freakin' complaining about being broke and I make that stupid promise? One word: stupid.

Bought two Harry Potter books for Yianthin's birthday. Oh right, everyone, BORDERS is having a 70% sale. I wonder if the rumours about BORDERS closing up are true. I hope not. Please, I'll miss you.

Was supposed to be doing school homework but here I am. In front of the computer. Typing away like nobody's business. One word: speechless. 

Signing off. (Not to do homework, mind you. I think CSI: NY is on.)

Misanthropic Madness

In the vague

Silver pulse of

Moonlight.

Phantoms and 

poltergeists:

I summon, when

Dreams no longer satisfy and 

Words have lost their coherence.

The air is dense with unspoken 

Thoughts - corpses of

Yesterdays lurk

In the slime of the present;

Empty eye-sockets staring,

Judging.

But alone, in

Amaranthine obscenities, I

Am home. 

They Would Never Know

He woke up crying that day. It was a full-blown sobbing spell, the kind that burned the back of your throat and ripped your lungs apart. It had been 40 years since he had cried the exact same way, the heart-wrenching weeping that would've been too ugly in reality but would be perfectly complacent when submitted to words.

He had thought that he was too old, too wise for the ardent feelings that young people seem to display these days. He had himself fooled that she was completely obliterated from his mind, that he wouldn't know her even if he saw her again. 

And yet, there she was, standing by the window with her back to him. He saw her again, with the halo on her golden hair and a mole on her neck. He wanted to touch it, kiss it.  Are you an angel? She was in his class, and he nearly flunked the first semester having spent every lecture staring at her. 

Then, miraculously then, she talked to him. She let him hold her hand when they took long walks to the city, where he lived. She let him kiss her, hesitantly at first, the brushing of lips. When she agreed to marry him he felt like dragging her to the nearest church and have the priest marry them immediately. 

There was a fight. It was stupid, really. But they were proud. Relentless. She wouldn't look at him, wouldn't listen. He was terrified by the look in her eyes, such cold animosity. Cry, yell, wring your arms, anything but standing there, watching me with those hard, unforgiving eyes. And in his fear he sought out to be stubbornly unyielding, the same frosty mist clouding over his eyes to shield the fear. 

He walked away. 

He would never know that she would have ran towards him - had he showed the slightest hint that he still loved her - arms flung open to embrace him in her bosom, to repeat the word I'm sorry over and over again until he silence her with a kiss. He would never know that she prayed so hard for him to just stop walking away from her and turn back, that her whole body shook with the ferocity. 

He would never know that she did not remarry, and she would never know that neither did he. And they never knew that it would be the last time they would see each other ever again. 

The Love We Buried

It was in the darkness

That we -

Groping and fumbling clumsily - 

Buried the love 

We had made.

If I forgot the warmth of your

Fingers splayed across my back,

I amended by tasting the phantom honey

Of your lips

In drift between sleep. 

But the rain is full of

Ghosts tonight. I dreamt that

You kissed me hard and rough.
What I had forgotten then
I remember now.

My soul was on my lips

And you licked it all away. 

So, This Is What's Going On

1. I want to start jogging again but somehow something's always up whenever I'm all set to go and I have to postpone. It's been, hmm... one and a half weeks now.

2. I am suddenly craving Japanese food. Someone pos-laju for me? 

3. I'm feeling nauseous lately. Maybe I'm just bored to the point of vomiting. 

4. I'm re-reading Julie and Julia and it's making me want to whip out a pan and cook the best damn boeuf bourguignon ever. Searched for the recipe and boom, practicality took over and I slump back to munch on my apple with my tail between my legs. Thoroughly humbled.

5. Had a disagreement with Dad. He thinks that Royal Stout tastes better than Guinness Stout. Umm, no way. Guinness Stout rocks the stout world. 

6. I'm dreading tomorrow the way Anne Boleyn must have dreaded her execution 500 years ago. Choir till 4pm tomorrow. I wonder if I can survive it. 

7. Looped 'Breathe Me' by Sia hundreds of times in a day. Trust me, I'll get sick of it pretty soon.

8. Reading up on ancient Rome (as usual). Here's an interesting fact: the punishment for killing one's father was to be drowned in a sack along with a viper, a dog and a rooster. Umm, I didn't find any source that states the reason behind this. Anyway, don't you think that ancient Romans are plain cute?

9. I have this sudden urge to go travelling in Ko Phi Phi. I think it's Leo's fault. It mustbe. He makes everything inexplicably hot. Even getting my ass roasted in the sun. Right, I see the irony.

10. I'm trying to read Chinese novels. Currently reading Killer by Giddens (九把刀) and let me tell you this: it's mind-bogglingly boring. While my favourtite English thrillers are all from the polices' point of view, this book is from the killer's point of view. I don't know why this book lulls me to sleep when the English thrillers scare the living hell out of me. Can't blame me, I tried. I swear.

Ode To Destiny

I love you in the dark undercurrent
Of the sea.
In the ungovernable swirl of
Emotions, I kiss the tips
Of your whorled fingers.

I wake in a stupor, and
My soul is wet from weeping.
The cumbersome weight of love
Sits on my chest
And I couldn't breathe.

What we were meant to do
We have done. The shadows passed
Us once but in our hearts it was infinite.
We loved blindly; our lips will forever search
For the other. And we loved
In fire and in ice.