Basketball With Devils

Note: Unfabricated story of how Wen Juin and I were bullied by devils half our age. Seriously. Non-exaggeration. 

There I was, on a fine Friday evening, jogging with Wen Juin in the park as is my routine. As usual, I paid no attention to the basketball players who were playing just beside the track and viceversa.

However, today, while I was jogging past the basketball court, a tall Indian man asked if I would join them. I looked past him and saw two little kiddies in primary school uniform. One was half of my height and the other was about the height of my hips. I refused profusely. And the guy positively begged. Look at the children, he says, just substitute until the other players arrive. Alright then, one game wouldn't hurt, would it? Besides, I couldn't bear turning down the little children.

And so, the guy - whom all of us call Uncle, taught us the basics. I was to block the little one and Wen Juin the other. He called them, "our man". Well, those two were perfect little devils. Note that from now on, all of the children are referred to "little devils".

That tiny devil who was just about my hip positively bullied me. And really, you couldn't blame me, can you? I have never played basketball before. And I've certainly never played basketball with a bunch of ill-bred, rude, teenager-bullying devils before. And so, our first few games ended in horrifying tragedies, with "our men" passing the ball to each other and the two of us chasing them in futile circles. Uncle was on our team but due to knee injury, he couldn't run or block or do anything except passing the ball.

Later came three more little devils who were equally evil. Look at the conversation between them (conducted in Chinese, of course):

Devil A: Are the girls good?
Devil B: (in a really sarcastic way) Oh yeah, reaaally good. I've never watched people play this way before.

See what I mean??? They were the ones who invited us to play in the first place. I have half a mind to leave but of course, out of courtesy, we stayed.

Fortunately, after Uncle taught us how to tackle and aim at the basket (or is it called a goal?) we of course, got considerably better. The little devils were slinging insults at us the whole time and we kept quiet for the sake of their delicate - but pointy - devil ears.

One of the devils, a fat chubby (but extremely malicious) one said to me, "You couldn't outrun me, can you? You can't outrun me, loser." Me??? Couldn't outrun you??? Hello, little man? I jog around the friggin' perimeter of the court you are playing in! I was just afraid I would knock your little ass to the ground and you would bawl like the perfect idiot that you are.

But in the end, after being bullied, pushed and thoroughly insulted, our team scored 5 to 6 balls. Oh yeah, and don't forget downright humiliation. (There were many boys from my school bus who were also there. There goes my dignity.) I think it was almost a tie! So there, suckers. Anyway, we left the court in an utterly battered but victorious condition. And I have to admit that Uncle was right, this was way more tiring than plain jogging. We were practically gasping for air as we dragged our bodies home. Oh alright! I will also admit, in great reluctance, that we had fun.

Thus, my beloved readers, this is my advice to all of you. Do not, in any way, underestimate the power of little basketball-playing, uniform-wearing devils. They specifically prey on unsuspecting teenage girls (they were probably afraid of boys) who are kind(like me) and "steam" (like Wen Juin).

Ta.